Are You Listening?

Are you a good listener?  Do you apply active listening?  Do you think more about what you are going to say than what the other person is saying?  Are you easily distracted and only listen when the flow of conversation meets your agenda?  If you were asked:  Which interpersonal communications skill is most important in business? What would your response be?  Certainly, a well crafted verbal approach would be most beneficial to most businesses, right?  Actually, no…the most important communication skill in  business is LISTENING.

Unfortunately, most professionals are lacking in this skill and it is critical to every business; both internally and externally.  In fact, a recent survey of the academy of Certified Administrative Managers asked which managerial skill was “super critical” to business.  The overwhelming response was “active listening”.  Surprisingly enough it was followed by the ability to give clear and effective instructions, accepting responsibility and identifying problems.

Administrators and managers need to actively listen to their employees in order for proper discourse and feedback to occur.  Sales and marketing professionals need to actively listen to their clients and prospects to determine needs and create relationships.  Active listening will also enhance our personal lives as well; since nothing demonstrates care and concern as does effective listening to friends and loved ones.  Listening is a skill which is vital; but is much neglected.  Most of us are not good listeners.  We have become conditioned to filter and apply passive listening skills – which will limit our success in both business and personal aspects.

Effective listening is becoming a big business.  There are countless consulting groups and seminars which focus exclusively on the process of listening.  Did you know there is actually an International Listening Association?  It has members from several countries and promotes effective listening through the exchange of information, methods, experience and materials.  This group is pursuing research on further development of active listening techniques and their application.

How can you become a better listener?  In a book published by the American Management Association; the Ten Golden Rules of Listening are as follows:

• Look at the speaker
• Question the speaker to get clarification
• Show concern about the speakers feelings
• Repeat occasionally to confirm
• Don’t rush the speaker
• Have poise and emotional control
• Respond with a nod, a smile or a frown
• Pay close attention
• Don’t interrupt
• Keep on the subject till the speaker finishes his or her thoughts

Some of these seem very simple – but the next time someone is speaking to you; see how many you neglect or apply.  Changing our behaviors and attitudes is the only way to improve our listening skills.